Spade poetry or limericks

[Gill Bennet]

Need an outlet for your spade creativity? Look no further - original or plagiarised, good or pathetic, who cares? As long as spades or other garden tools feature...

[Gill Bennet]

I once had a spade that was blue
I wasn’t quite what to do
So I played in the sand
But it broke in my hand
And now I am feeling blue too

[Adam Gutteridge]

A Spade, a Fork, and 2 trowels
Were watching Countdown with 4 owls
One intelligent bird
Made a 9 letter word
Out of 6 consonants and 3 vowels

At first this may seem irrelevant but the winning word was "gardening"

[Laura Murphy]

The Promised Haiku: (I think... I don't know if I remember the rules that well)

together again
in the shed
spade and shovel

For if that is wrong:

1 - If I had a lot of money and my debts were all paid
I'd get to work with my saw, brush and spade
I would work really good with tons of wood
Till the perfect house I had made.

2- One summer I fell in a lake
And was attacked by a giant water snake
As it my legs it bent, into my pocket I went
and I hit it with my trusty rake

3- One day outside in the sun
In my garden there was much to be done
as I had no shed to be seen

To my eyes tears were brought
When of my gardening tools I thought
As they were homeless which made me feel mean

my responsibilities i did not which to shirk
so i then decided to get to work
now I have the best shed in all of aberdeen



It's quantity not quality that counts yes?

[Adam Gutteridge]

I always thought it was supposed to be 5-7-5 for Haiku but I could be wrong. If it is, here is my effort

Long-lost friends revive
As he unlocks the old shed:
Spade, Fork, Rake and Hoe

[Laura Murphy]

Oh well the 5-7-5 is the traditional japanese haiku way I think
but since what there are 5-7-5 for does not translate exactly into being a syllable, there have been an umber of english language adaptations including the rule I heard of that a haiku has three (or fewer) lines of no more than 17 syllables in total
Not positive though... think we need a haiku expert

In the mean time

A sadder thing than
a spade left out in the rain
never will be found

[Adam Gutteridge]

Fuck me that is beautiful.

What then is a rake?
If not a wide, stunted fork.
With a load more prongs.

[Laura Murphy]

Oh woe is my hoe
As the subject of rude jokes
It shall always be

Oh compost heap spade
I am afraid that envied
You never shall be

apparently I can only write really sad haikus
This poem writing malark has reminded me of the fact that I love the word emjambment so thanks very much for that.

[Adam Gutteridge]

ok i'm going for a happy one:

The light of the sun:
Ninety Three Million Miles,
To shine on my spade

[jon greene]

Actually I beleive a haiku has to mention the weather or the seasons or something:

Autumn is the time
I like to rake the garden
or murder hookers

[Adam Gutteridge]

Autumn Comedy:
Walk through a garden of leaves,
A rake to the face.

[Doug]

Sampu (1647-1715) was a financier of Matsuo Basho, and he wrote the following poem:

Blinded by the glimmer
Of the spade I am,
As a farmer wields it
In a spring field.

[Doug]

I believe there was a Chinese Haiku variant, led by the master Bo Ing.

His school favoured the 7-4-7 syllabic structure.